Why did nobody warn me about sleep deprivation?

This is probably going to sound ridiculous, but nobody prepared me for the sleep deprivation I would experience as a new mum.

Of course I knew I wouldn’t get much sleep with a new baby. I’d spent nine months being told ‘say goodbye to sleep’ and ‘get your sleep while you can’….obviously I knew I would be tired.

But nobody REALLY told me what it could be like. That I would spend weeks, and possibly months, of my life, getting a maximum of 2 hours sleep in a row EVER.

That I might spend several hours a day wanting to cry because I was so tired I didn’t know what to do with myself. That I would be terrified to drive. Terrified of sitting on the sofa with my baby in case I fell asleep holding them. The toll it would take on my mental health.

That before having a baby, getting six hours sleep would leave me feeling exhausted….but post-baby I would absolutely LONG for a three-hour stretch of sleep.

And why did nobody tell me that yes, while sleep deprivation was probably inevitable, there were things I could do that might actually help?

If you’re pregnant or a new mum, it’s going to be tough at times. But these things might help:

• Every baby is different, but it’s really common for babies to refuse to sleep anywhere that’s not on a person for the first few days/weeks. Knowing what to expect can help you plan, and provide some reassurance that it’s normal

• How might you and your partner juggle sleep between you? Could you sleep in shifts so you each get a few solid hours a night? If you’re breastfeeding, could they do nappy changes so you can get a bit more sleep? Would it work better for you if they slept at night so you nap during the day? Different things will work for different people, and your plans might change, but at least you have a start point that can evolve.

  
  

• What support do you have, or can you put in place? Who can come and hold the baby while you nap? Family, friends, a doula? Could you look into a night doula/nanny? I wish I’d accepted more of the offers I had to help with this.

  
  

• How do you feel about co-sleeping? It’s not for everyone, but some families find it helps, and it's always useful to know about the options you have. Can you research how to do it as safely as possible in advance so you’re prepared?

  
  

• What can you do to lighten the load so you have more time to nap? Pre-prepared meals, get some help with the laundry, get a tumble dryer? I once worked with a couple who packed away all their ornaments/photo frames to make dusting easier!

  
  

And when you do feel tired - what might help you feel a bit better? Fresh air, doing small things to make you feel good like a shower or some nice eye cream, drinking enough water and putting your favourite music on can all make it that little bit easier to manage.

And when you’re in the thick of it, it feels like it’s never going to end. But I promise it will slowly get better ❤️

If you have any tips for managing sleep deprivation in the early days I would love to hear them.

Katie x

Me and Daisy - the t-shirts were very accurate....